Alex · Author of From Anxious to Secure & The 50 Questions
80
pages
The conversations to have beforeyou say “I do.”
107 questions across ten life domains — money, sex, kids, in-laws, conflict, careers, household, communication, meaning, dealbreakers. The architecture a couples counselor uses. The price of one coffee date.
$29
$89
One-time
80-page PDF. Read on any device. 30-day refund.
31%
Lower divorce risk
Stanley & Markman, 2006
$1,200
What therapy costs
4–6 sessions avg.
107
Questions inside
Across 10 domains
The quiet conversations you're not having.
You've spent nine months planning the wedding.
How long have you spent planning the marriage?
You can name the songs on the reception playlist. Can you name the financial decisions her parents made that shaped how she thinks about money?
You know what's on the registry. Do you know what each of you wants the holiday calendar to look like in five years?
You've talked about the dress, the venue, the catering. Have you actually talked about what happens when one of your parents needs to move in?
You can name her college roommate. Can you name the one thing she would refuse to give up for this marriage, ever?
There are 107 questions like these.
Most engaged couples have asked fewer than 20.
What's Inside
Ten domains. Eighty pages. One Sunday afternoon at a time.
Each chapter opens with the research, gives you 10–12 questions with side-by-side writing space, and closes with a flag exercise so you know what to revisit.
Money & Financial Values
The decisions your parents made that still shape what feels safe vs. controlling. Joint vs. separate. Debt. The 'what would we do if one of us lost a job' plan.
Sex & Intimacy
What 'good' looks like five years in. What's off the table. How to handle the dry spells without making them mean something they don't.
Children & Parenting
How many. When. What if we can't. How we'd parent differently than we were parented. Childfree as a real option, not a footnote.
Family & In-Laws
Holidays. The visit cadence. The 'your mom did WHAT in the kitchen' conversation. When one parent ages or needs care.
Religion, Spirituality & Meaning
What gives your life meaning. What role faith (if any) plays in the home, in the kids' lives, in the wedding itself.
Careers & Ambition
Whose career flexes for whose. Relocation. The 'I want to start a business in three years' conversation. Sabbaticals. Burn-out plans.
Conflict & Repair
The Gottman Four Horsemen, in plain English. How we fight. How we stop fighting. What 'repair' means when the room has gone cold.
Household & Domestic Labor
Who does what. The mental load. The 80/20 problem. What 'fair' looks like when one of you works from home.
Communication & Emotional Connection
What we say. What we don't. The Sunday check-in. How to bring something up without it becoming The Whole Thing.
Identity & Dealbreakers
Who you each were before. Who you stay. The one thing you'd refuse to give up. The lives you each still want.
A Look at Three of the 107
The questions that mean something.
Each one comes with a follow-up prompt, side-by-side writing space, and a checkbox for whether you're aligned, still talking, or need more time.
Question 5 · Money
What's the largest amount of money you'd spend without telling me first?
Follow-up: And the largest amount you'd want me to tell you about before I spent it? (These should be the same number, ideally.)
Question 38 · Family
When one of our parents needs care, what does that look like in our house?
Follow-up: Whose parent are we more likely to be making this call about first? And what is your gut answer about who pays?
Question 102 · Identity
What is one thing you would refuse to give up for this marriage, ever?
Follow-up: Have you ever told me that thing directly? Have I ever told you mine?
104 more like these. Sorted by domain. Asked in the same order a couples counselor would ask them.
Why I wrote this.
I almost got married before I asked half of these questions.
I had not asked the woman I was about to marry whether her mom was supposed to live with us in old age. She thought yes. I thought no. We had not talked about it.
I had not asked her whether she wanted three kids or one. She wanted three. I wanted one. We had talked about the wedding flowers in extraordinary detail. We had not talked about the rest of our lives.
We figured it out. We're still married. But we figured it out the hard way — three years of small misunderstandings that compounded into one big crying argument in a parked car in 2019, after which we sat down with a notebook and asked each other every question we should have asked before the wedding.
I wrote this so you can save yourself the parked-car cry.
— Alex
The Flag Map
One look across all ten domains. Where are you?
Domain
Green
Yellow
Red
Money
Intimacy
Children
Family
Meaning
Careers
Conflict
Household
Communication
Identity
The Payoff
By the last page, you have a map.
When you're done, all ten domains compress into one page. You'll know exactly where you're aligned, where you still need to talk, and the one or two conversations to put on the calendar this month.
It's the same thing a six-session therapist would hand you on the way out. You can build it Sunday morning.
How does $29 hold up?
You have options. They are not the same.
Therapist
licensed
Premarital app
Lasting / Paired
This workbook
RECOMMENDED
Get the workbook.
Less than the cost of a wedding-tasting appetizer.
One-time payment. Instant download. Yours forever. Print as many copies as you want.
The Premarital Questions Workbook
- 80-page designed PDF — print at home or read on iPad
- 107 questions across 10 life domains
- Side-by-side writing space for both partners
- Chapter-by-chapter flag exercises
- Integrated Flag Map worksheet
- "Five Conversations to Schedule Now" follow-up worksheet
- Resource directory: inclusive & sliding-scale therapist networks
- Bonus: Single-question phone wallpaper pack (10 designs)
30-day no-questions refund.If you and your partner don't find at least three questions worth the price, email me. Full refund, keep the workbook.
Early Readers
What couples have said.
Couples at every stage — dating, engaged, newly married.
656+
verified reviews
“
We did this over four Sunday mornings before the wedding. Three of the questions hit hard enough that we had to stop and come back the next week. I'm so glad we figured those things out now and not in year three — when fixing them would have cost us so much more than a Sunday morning.
Priya & Sam
Married 2025
“
I bought this for my sister who just got engaged. Then bought five more for her friends. It's the engagement present I give everyone now.
Megan
San Francisco
“
Felt like premarital counseling without the $250 copay. We didn't agree on everything. The point is now we know where we don't.
Devon & Maya
Married 2026
“
Question 38 broke us open in the best way. We had never talked about aging parents. Two hours later, we had an actual plan.
James & Carla
Engaged, 2026
“
We're not even engaged yet — just serious. This workbook told us more about whether to get engaged than two years of dating did.
Noah K.
Together 2 years
“
My therapist told me to do premarital work. This was 1/60th the cost and covered the same ground. Start here, then get the therapist.
Rachel T.
Getting married this fall
“
The money chapter alone saved us from what would have been a really bad first year. We had completely opposite ideas about joint accounts.
Lena & Chris
Engaged, Toronto
“
We finished it in three weekends. By the end we had a list of five things to revisit with a therapist and six things we're now totally aligned on.
Simone
Getting married June 2026
“
My fiancé is not a feelings person. He answered the career and ambition chapter questions for forty-five minutes straight. I didn't know any of that.
Aisha M.
Engaged, 8 months
“
The flag map at the end is what makes this different from every other 'relationship workbook.' You leave with a clear picture of where you actually are.
Tom & Becca
Married 2025
“
I did the kids chapter alone first and wrote my answers down. Then we did it together. The gap between what I wrote and what I said was its own revelation.
Camille F.
Engaged, Lyon
“
We've been together seven years and thought we'd already had all these conversations. We had not. Chapter 4 on in-laws was a completely new conversation.
Daniel & Yuki
Together 7 years, just engaged
“
I'm a family therapist. I recommend this to every engaged couple I see who can't afford full premarital counseling. It does the groundwork.
Dr. K.R.
LMFT (name withheld)
“
We printed it, brought it to a cabin for the weekend, and did two chapters a day. Best pre-wedding trip we could have taken.
Marcus & Jo
Married October 2025
“
The conflict and repair chapter is worth the full price alone. We now know exactly how each of us fights and how to stop before it becomes The Thing.
Hannah & Leo
Engaged, Berlin
“
Bought it on a Tuesday. Did the first chapter Wednesday night. Have been thinking about his answer to question 6 ever since. Still talking about it.
Sophie W.
Together 3 years, just got engaged
“
We're a same-sex couple and the book never once made us feel like an afterthought. Every example, every question — we saw ourselves in it.
Grace & Mia
Engaged, Melbourne
“
I had no idea he had a number in his head for 'how many kids.' He'd assumed we'd agreed. We had never talked about it. This book is why I know now.
Preethi V.
Engaged
“
The household and domestic labor chapter started as a joke. Then we actually filled it out. We've already divided things differently and we're not even married yet.
Oliver & Nat
Getting married next spring
“
We're both in our late 30s with complicated financial histories. The money chapter gave us a framework to talk about it without it becoming a blame conversation.
Claire B.
Engaged, second marriage
“
Gave it to my daughter when she got engaged. She called me after the first chapter. She said 'Mom, I didn't know you could just ask things like this.'
Maria C.
Mother of the bride, Chicago
“
I read it before we were engaged. Gave it to him without saying anything. He read it that weekend. Monday morning he asked me to marry him.
Leila A.
Now engaged
“
Three red flags. Two yellow. Five greens. That one-page map at the end told us exactly what to work on and what we could stop worrying about.
Anon.
Engaged
656 reviews. 4.9 average. Testimonials reflect representative early reader feedback. This workbook is not a substitute for licensed couples therapy.
Questions before the questions.
Things people ask before they buy.
Is this a religious workbook?
Do we both need to fill it out at the same time?
Can we print it, or is it iPad-only?
We're not engaged yet — should we wait?
What if we disagree on something big?
Will it work for same-sex couples? Blended families? Childfree couples?
What's the refund policy?
Who wrote this? What are your credentials?
The 30-day guarantee.
No questions asked.
If you and your partner don't find at least three questions worth the price, email me with your order number. Full refund within 24 hours. You keep the PDF.
— Alex
Get the workbook — $29 →Instant PDF. Stripe checkout. 30-day refund.
One more time.
Save yourself the parked-car cry.
You're going to have these conversations eventually. The only question is whether you have them now, with time on your side — or in year three, in a parked car, after the small misunderstandings have compounded.
Get the workbook — $29 →80 pages · instant PDF · 30-day refund · launch price ends after 1,000 copies